I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying.

Testaroni

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 20:56:05 -0600

And here is the test…

What a Difference A Wall Makes

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 13:56:38 -0500

Growing up, I saw that the Dallas Symphony played outdoor concerts. Never in all my time in this city did I ever think of sitting in 95 degree heat to listen to pops music outside.

Then I had a kid.

The DSO played a parks concert right by my house. There was no way that I was missing this. The Little Man had yet to see a classical show, any show I think unless you count his preschool musical. I was DYING to take him to this so that he could experience this music in a way that appeals to 3 year old boys - an environment where they can make noise, dance around and talk during the show without threat of harsh looks and criticism.

The DSO’s “big ole thing” broke so the bandshell couldn’t go up. The orchestra had to play inside in the gym.

And that’s where everything fell apart. Move from outside to inside, and the following happens:

- picnic blankets and fishing chairs turn to plastic chairs lined up in a row

- people sitting comfortably turn to straight backs/hands folded in laps

- children reacting to music turns to lots and lots of shushing

And it’s this last one that killed me! I brought my child to the show so that he could listen and enjoy the music. That’s why I brought him to a parks show and didn’t buy a ticket to the Meyerson.

The program was dance music, therefore I expected that they wanted the younger patrons to dance. When the Overture to West Side Story was playing, I wanted him to stand up and mambo. Instead, his jumping in front of his chair was met with evil eyes and disparaging looks.

LM’s friend was there, too. I was elated that he could spend his first concert playing with his neighbor and bestie. Instead, both sets of parents separated the boys because their silliness was distracting the audience.

I shouldn’t have felt this way! That wall went up, and we all lapsed into concert mode. Just because chairs existed, we all acted like we had to behave or we’d disturb the precious atmosphere.

Is this the fault of the orchestra? I don’t really think you can blame hundreds of years of concert etiquette on the Dallas Symphony. They could have said, “feel free to let you children dance in the aisles! There’s no reason that we shouldn’t have fun and be loud inside just as we would have outside.” But they didn’t. So we “behaved”.

It’s this behavior that has me angry. I understand respect for the artists - trust me, I was one. But we’ve brainwashed the patrons of a particular genre of music that they aren’t able to react to what they are hearing. Could you imagine going to a Rihanna show and not dancing? Or going to a Elton John show and not singing along? You’d leave the event saying that it was boring, and you’d probably want your money back.

But at a classical show, if you clap at the right times, don’t say a word, and never let your program book make a sound in your hands, you leave saying, “well that was an enjoyable night!”

Every concert’s not a parks concert, nor is it a pops concert. But what if certain shows were labeled with as “no judgment”? Clap when you want. Dance if you want. Bring your children into the hall - it’s fine if they want to talk or sing. For this one time, we don’t care. Break down the wall, and let people feel that this music is music, too. And in order to feel comfortable behaving, we might need a few times where we have the permission to misbehave.

Disclaimer: I have to say that the orchestra sounded great. They even acted great. I saw not one look of resentment and frustration on their faces, and I appreciated that. It was a parks concert in a gym, and they did it like champs.

It's All About Magic. Magic and Numbers.

Wed, 18 May 2011 12:15:00 -0500

My husband is addicted to comedy podcasts. He recommends Comedy Death Ray, the Marc Maron WTF podcast and The Paul F. Tompkcast.

In discussing these, I learned about the Paul F. Tompkins 300. The details are here, but the gist of it is simple. If you gather 300 people together in your town, he’ll come and play. Audience directed, audience demanded, full house and guaranteed income.

Who doesn’t want guaranteed income? Who doesn’t want a full house? Let’s see how everyone wins in this simple checklist.

VENUE: A booked house and, depending on the venue, a solid bar tab. They save on promotion and marketing because they don’t need to do more than include it on their calendars. And don’t venues look pretty in demand if they have sold out shows on their books?

ARTIST: Who doesn’t like guaranteed income? For real. Who doesn’t? Who doesn’t want an audience of people who WANT to be there? And perhaps those folks might even enjoy hearing some new rep you wanted to try out.

AUDIENCE: They get what they want! They get the artist that they want to see in a show that they put together. There’s a level of pride and excitement about that that is bound to result in a great show.

I know there are complications. I know that artists are booked years in advance. I know that routing is a bitch. I know that for classical artists, you can’t play a concerto on demand (or maybe you can…that’s a homework assignment for you!). Perhaps fees are larger than what could be obtained by doing this. But I imagine that an artist that’s willing to let her audience call the shots on where she plays wouldn’t mind a smaller fee for that particular gig.

So we come to the question - what’s the magic number? Is it 300 like Paul F. Tompkins? Or is there a different number? Are Magic Number Concerts a possibility? I’d absolutely love to find out!

(And I can’t write about Magic Numbers without including a link to this band. Just ‘cuz I’ve always loved them! Or this one, too . I better stop while I’m ahead.)

I Spin

Thu, 05 May 2011 10:17:00 -0500

As I was looking for an American Airlines receipt this afternoon, I ran across this old email to my friends from when the Little Man was born. Seeing this now, I know that what I wrote is not what I meant.

I’m a publicist at heart, a salesperson by profession and a pleaser by nature, so this thing is spun within an inch of its life. Here’s the email again with the original text (unaltered) and what I really meant (WIRM).

Hi guys! We welcomed the Little Man on August 11 at 4:10pm. Little bugger came two weeks early! 8lb 6oz (ouch).

WIRM: I’m in more pain in areas that I had no idea existed two weeks ago.

He’s absolutely adorable - of course, we think he’s the cutest and coolest baby in the world.

WIRM: I’m staring at this baby trying to figure out if he’s cute or not. I honestly can’t tell. Other babies look cute. Mine looks like a baby. IS MY BABY CUTE YOU HAVE TO TELL ME BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW!!!! He’s not cool yet, but that’s nice to say.

Photos are coming in another email.

WIRM: I left my camera cord somewhere that hurts to walk to right now.

Not much sleep going on in the house right now, but last night he slept for two intervals of 3+ hours.

WIRM: I’m not sleeping. I haven’t slept in days. If I’ve “slept”, it meant that I was on the floor of the nursery on a body pillow just waiting for the kid to wake up again. 3+ hours of sleep for him meant about 15 minutes of continuous eyelids closed for me.

We feel human this morning.

WIRM: We didn’t recognize ourselves in the mirror.

It’s amazing what that tiny bit of REM sleep can do for you. But, every night is a new adventure in sleep patterns - are we going to get any or none?

WIRM: I hate the evening. I dread the evening. I’m going to lose my mind at the cruel joke that is the evening.

But, during the day, when he’s smiling with gas and looks up at you, it’s all worth it.

WIRM: Notice “smiling with gas” because he wasn’t smiling yet, and I thought that was an issue. At about two days I had this in my mind. He wasn’t looking at you because he was TWO DAYS OLD. He was looking at the moving light in your general direction. At this point, I still don’t understand how this can possibly be worth it.

So, the details.

OK - sorta altered. I’m going to spare you my birth story. If I’ve told you already, then you probably are close to me and need to know. If not, I went to the hospital and had a baby.

And here we are. Any and all advice is appreciated - I love hearing what people are saying.

WIRM: PLEEEAAASSSSEEE write me and make me feel like there is another human being out there because I’m stuck in this house in pain and sleep-deprived and thinking that my life will never be OK again.

The sleep thing being the big one right now.

WIRM: I’m dying here.

But, he’s gained back almost all his birth weight in about a week, seems very contented, and likes his crib.

WIRM: I don’t know what the hell he wants. Perhaps his crib. He’s not contented, but at the one split second I am writing this, he might have not been crying. Most of the time he’s just crying!!!

And he’s cute as a button.

WIRM: If I start talking in Southern-speak, I’m either lying through my teeth or angry as hell. Here…PLEASE TELL ME IF MY BABY’S CUTE!!!!!

Hope you guys are well, stay tuned for more pictures as time goes on. We’ll be sharing like crazy, I’m sure!!!

WIRM: I’m going to take pictures and share them so that someone will write me back and prove that there’s life outside this house. And perhaps you’ll have a work question for me because that will make me feel like I’m in control of my life. Work I can do. Mommying - no stinking idea!

Obviously I figured it out, but if you know me well you know that it took a really, really long time for us to get in a groove. And not all my emails have an alternate reading (though going through some old pitches, it might be funny to translate what I really meant…), but this email was packed with spin and different realities. And, I hate to say, a good number of tears.

When you see a new mommy, don’t tell her that it’s all worth it. Tell her that this sucks, and if she wants to cry on your shoulder you will not judge her. Tell her that there’s nothing that makes you feel better when you’re in this stage except time, booze and bad Bravo TV. Bring her the Pioneer Woman’s chicken spaghetti, a stack of gossip magazines, a box of Kleenex and a Target gift card. Be the friend (or even acquaintance - I would have taken anyone) who absolutely will never repeat any of the awful things that are going through her head.

There are plenty of friends who say, “Isn’t being mommy great?!” Be that friend that will share the dirty secret that the beginning is an absolute nightmare. But, yes, parenting is indeed worth it, and there’s nothing quite like it. It just takes a little while to get there.

Obsessed with Mormons

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 11:42:50 -0500

This morning I woke up to a little surprise. The #1 and #2 albums on the Soundscan Classical Traditional chart belonged to the Mormons.

#1 - Men of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

#2 - Josh Wright

First of all, watch the Josh video. It’s DOUBLY difficult to watch.

I’m not really going to comment on the quality as it’s irrelevant.

The issue is that the Mormons are the epitome of community marketing. These two records were initially sold very locally, and they still charted! Their community is super supportive, and they spend money on their own. And I honestly don’t think that people were buying this and they didn’t want it. They probably wanted it and were motivated to do it because their friends were buying it. They were given a reason to do it. The reason - he’s one of us.

What does this mean to us as music marketers? It doesn’t mean “release Mormon products”. It means get micro. Drill down on your release and address the constituents. Who’s conducting? Does he conduct somewhere else with a following? Who’s singing? Every chorister has a stake in this release, and those folks have friends.

So let’s take a page from our Mormon friends - let’s stop thinking that a casual consumer is going to walk through a Barnes & Noble, see something way in the back on an endcap and pick it up just ‘cause. Let’s start thinking that people are inundated with product/entertainment choices, and they need a reason to act. “You know that kid Josh who plays two pianos? I think he went to school with Michael and Kate, Jenny’s kids? He’s got a new CD out!” THAT’S a reason to act.

Pitch Me Pitch You

Wed, 29 Sep 2010 11:11:04 -0500

Found this amazing list of how to pitch your band to an indie rock label - http://blogscarymonsters.blogspot.com/2010/08/demos.html

Includes the following gems:

Be concise… yet make sure you give me lots of info

Be friendly and charming… but don’t suck up

Be confident… but do not, under any circumstances, be arrogant

Tell me why your band is going to sell records… but don’t tell me they’re the next big thing

Make it be known that you’re not afraid to work hard… but don’t you dare call me at 9pm on a Sunday night

Which inspired me to write my own version of Pitch Me. Except I’m the one regularly doing the pitching. So pitch me on how to pitch? Still…

1. Please do tell me why I should listen to this record…but don’t spoon-feed me what I should be listening for.

2. Please tell me a story of why this was made…but please don’t begin with “it’s the obvious next step in the maturity of an artist.”

3. Make me feel like I’m part of the team that’s going to make this successful…but don’t badger me about what I’m doing to help you every single day.

4. Make me feel like I’m part of the team that’s going to make this successful…but please do NOT ask me what I’m doing after first week when I was the only driver in first week. (Pet peeve much?)

5. Don’t include the entire classical music history in the information on why you did this…unless you do understand that I never really got that early music thing.

6. Don’t compare yourself to someone else…unless you’d rather me just go and listen to their stuff.

7. Do give me relevant information about the piece…but if it includes chord progressions, you lost me.

8. Give me pull quotes if they are relevant…but if they have more ellipses than this blog post, I know you’re doing review by MadLib.

9. Press layouts rock…as long as it’s not a list of what you’d like to get. I’d like to pay off my student loans tomorrow, but that ain’t happening.

10. Please play well…don’t build me up buttercup and then suck.

A Day In The Life

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:27:50 -0500

I’m a working mom, so it’s rare that I get a full day to spend with the Little Man that’s not a hectic weekend. He’s got strep throat, so the doctor told him that he had to stay home. He’s apparently on the mend, so he’s being just a normal little boy. I thought it would be fun to document my day as a stay-at-home mom, including my quest to not watch TV all day as a crutch.

9am - he slept this late, and then bolted out of bed and ran around. An OK start to the day, but his first word when he saw me was “UHHHH”.

9:15 - “Mommy, I want to eat breakfast.” After three days of no eating, he downed some blueberries and a bite of oatmeal. He shared his blueberries with me saying “I’m a good sharer.”

9:30 - I needed go to the office to see what’s up with work. He found the old crib mattress in here, and asked if he could jump on it. (He can only jump on certain beds, and this is one of them.) He starting leaping. This was apparently the most amazing thing. He got his covers from his room and then got his stuffed animals so they could jump too.

9:45 - Pitstop! In my effort to potty-train, we put a diaper on Elmo and sat him on the potty. No luck from LM, though.

10:00 - he finds the boxes of advanced CDs in the house and opens them like “presents” because he’s now the mailman. We stack all the CDs in the bathroom and knock them down.

10:15 - we put on Debi Nova’s CD, and he seems to like it. He’s dancing all over the office while asking me to make Lightning McQueen dance. Then he rolls himself into a burrito and acts like a ghost in the comforter.

10:30 - I decide that I need to get a curtain rod to hang the thermal curtains in my insanely hot office. We get the tape measure and measure the windows. Then we find out that the tape measure will roll like a car when you let it go on the crib mattress. This takes up about 10 minutes of opening and shutting the tape measure followed by insane amounts of laughs.

Now I hear CDs falling in the bathroom, so perhaps I should check on that.

11:00 - after he tries to put a CD in the DVD player and futzing with the remote it’s time to go to Whole Foods. He has to get himself dressed by himself now, and that’s just a challenge in itself. He’s now taken both of his dresser boxes out and is sitting in them saying that they are at the train station. LM in a diaper wanders into the office to tell me that maybe we can ride the train one day, and maybe we can ask Daddy. I say, “yes we can. Get dressed so we can go to Whole Foods.”

And still, no TV…we’ve made it a total of two hours. Unfortunately, I promised some Scooby Doo after we get back from the store, so, um, there you go.

11:30 - after being told to get dressed and successfully taking his shirt off, we’re still not dressed. I’ve decided that since he’s playing so incredibly nicely by himself in his room and pretending, it’s not a big deal to postpone our Whole Foods trip for awhile. All I’m hearing from the next room is Thomas the Tank Engine and the Thomas song. But, the child has a very structured life, so this day of wandering around and being by himself is a good thing. Plus, it lets me check in with work to make me feel less guilty about taking the day off.

11:40 - shorts are on! A shirt (polo) was chosen, but it was being worn as a cape. And since we don’t go out looking like a preppy superhero, we’ll sit here until the shirt gets on. The crib mattress got jumped on again, just for good measure. “Mommy, where’s the big hole?!” is being screamed from the other room. And off I go to help him find the bottom of the shirt.

12:10 - we’re finally out the door with clothes on and shoes on and a car picked out to take to the store. He wants to ride the red airplane cart at Whole Foods, so we grab that. I prolong this trip by asking him about things. “Do we need organic strawberries? How about fish? Do we need this fish with a head?” Good news is that he’s finally hungry, and WF has amazing mac and cheese. We get our bounty (which includes a thermal bag to keep the meat OK while we play more) and go outside to eat. It’s 95 degrees, but he loves eating outside, so we do. It was honestly really delightful having lunch with him.

12:50 - we’re done. We decide to meet my mother at her office to say hey. There’s also a dollar store right next door which means cheap toys and aisles to run through. Mom talks to him, and we have a nice conversation for a bit. And….we get potty! He walks to the bathroom with me and (with the promise of chocolate from Mimi) he pees. Love it.

1:20 - off to the dollar store we go. Lots and lots and lots of cheap toys. We , see them and play. He’s so good to put things back where he found them. Then he finds a Lightning McQueen ball. He throws it around the store. I hear “hey! hey! hey!” I come around the corner to see a man with no teeth on a ladder saying, “This is a store, not a park”. All I can think of is “this is the dollar store - this is mommy’s airconditioned playground.” But instead I take the high road and say, “LM, the man says to stop playing with the ball in the store.”

2:00 - we’re back in the car after picking up our groceries at Mimi’s office. My plan? Drive around until he falls asleep. We keep driving, and he keeps playing. We keep driving, and he keeps playing. We pass the house, and he says “I want to go home” all while having heavy eyes. So we go home because I think that we’re just a lie down to a nap. Oh no! After we hit the bedroom, the car is rolling on the wall, the tears are flying because he doesn’t want to lie down. I rock him, and he seems tired so I let him be.

3:30 - the car is still rolling on the walls. Now I’m hearing the Scooby Doo theme song singing on a loop from the room next door. I’m pushing 4:00, and we don’t have a nap. Oh boy. I can’t force the boy to sleep, but I certainly am not looking forward to dealing with the boy who doesn’t. I think this is where TV comes out.

4:30 - He finally emerges from his room yelling, “mommy - I pooped my pants!” Well, I guess we’ve learned that he knows what’s going on. We change it all, get a load of laundry in the wash, and wash hands/bottoms/everything. Robot pull-ups are on, and off we go.

4:45 - it’s mommy’s potty time (I know…too much), but that’s how long I’m gone only to find when I come back..

4:46 - the entire bag of shredded paper turned upside down and scattered around the office. It’s kind of hysterical, but not that funny knowing that we have to pick it up. I get lots of resistance, but that’s a three-year-old. Eventually the paper gets put back into the garbage bag by pretending that we’re making it snow into the bag.

5:00 - it’s my bright idea to go ahead and make this boxed cake mix that’s in the pantry. That involves him pouring things into a bowl and being happy about it. We do this and discover the greatest thing about making cake is licking the spatula. I am not party to this as he has strep, and I really don’t want it.

5:15 - He’s luring me to the playroom to direct the traffic of his cars again. Instead, we move into the office one last time so that he can jump on the mattress. And he asks to listen to Debi Nova (how does he know that the single is picking up?). The grand plan for the rest of the evening is to somehow segue the cakemaking to dinnermaking to dinner to welcoming daddy home and eating the cake. At which point we might watch 15 minutes or so of Scooby Doo.

5:30 - cake comes out, dinner gets started. I realized that my day has been TV-free, but it’s also been time out free! This changes. The scream of “NO” or excessive whining get 1.2.3’ed to time out. We get this for screaming about not wanting to set the table and not wanting dinner. So back to the room. It’s fine. It’s been a lovely day, so there.

6:00 - 3 time outs and we’re done. He’s been convinced that eating the orange we bought at Whole Foods would make an amazing accompaniment to sausage and potatoes. We eat just fine (whew!), and we start our tantrums. It’s fine, again. I convince him that he needs to finish so that we can frost the cake.

6:30 - dinner’s cleaned up, cake gets frosted. It’s put away, and we’re into the mad dash to find the cars. Into the media room we go, when we hear…

6:45 DADDY! LM runs to the back door screaming “Daddy - I made you a cake!” while trying to get the door open. Daddy comes in and is excited to hear about cake and to see us both in one piece.

7:00- we eat cake (me and LM), and dinner (Daddy) while discussing the day. And Lightning McQueen. And the new Iron Man car. And the Dollar Store.

7:30 - Bath time. He’s especially fiesty tonight, and we can’t get the clothes hamper off his head. It’s strip-down time, and the threat of no…

7:45 - Scooby Doo! He made his appearance, but only at the end of the day. We watch one episode of the show (21 minutes), and have a fight getting to bed. It’s fine. He asked for Daddy to lie down with him, so I’m off the hook.

I don’t know how stay-at-home moms do it. I struggled to find things to do today, and this was a good day. I guess when going to the pool or other people’s houses, etc. is an option, that helps. But, I do know, again, that being a working mom is exactly what I want to be, and that we’re all a happier family for what we have now.

Get better, Little Man! You’re going to school and swim class tomorrow!

Didn't I Just Say This?

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 13:02:04 -0500

For real, Terry Teachout, stop taking my ideas…

So Terry took one side of my Of Two Minds debate. I hear him. I do. Which makes me look at the other side again.

I look back at my experience and see that there is a role in this community for a symphony. But, as Terry suggests, it’s the duty of the symphony to find out exactly what that role is and do it better than anything else.

A city like Dallas doesn’t have the same culture as New York or LA. If we did, most people here wouldn’t live here. We do have Sprinkles and Pinkberry, but I’m not sure that we could support Dudamel.

Our community is very hermit-like, very conservative and very family-centered. If you want to appeal to this city, you need to provide comfortable ways for us to enjoy your performances. You need to give us options for our family without making us feel stupid. I have no issues taking my kid to see Bugs Bunny on stage (for real, I think I’m obsessed with that), but mommy and daddy need some culture, too.

My friend Katie cried at the DSO’s Mahler 2. She’s a trained musician. She ain’t no dummy. It seriously moved her. Could she have cried at Bernstein’s performance on CD? Probably not, because she would have had her three-year-old running around the house flashing his Lightning McQueen flashlight in her eyes every twelve seconds (love you Drew!). But on a date night, she and her husband were able to take some time out and really be part of a good performance.

Again, I’m not saying that a city needs a symphony because it needs to be the high-brow answer to Applebees and a showing of “Letters to Juliet”. But having that option here is good for us all.

And let’s look at the kids. I have a three-year-old. Someday I’d like him to take up an instrument. He may hate it, but he’ll never know it if this isn’t available to him. We took a trip to New York a few weeks ago, and the Philharmonic wasn’t even a thought on our To Do List. And if we go back, it probably won’t be again. So if only big cities are able to have symphonies, he’ll never see a live performance easily.

The role of a cultural organization is to actively reflect the culture of its environment. If we like pops, damn it, give us pops! If we go to sit in the 100 degree hit on Memorial Day weekend to see you perform in a park, break out the fans and play me some Sousa. But know that we’re not complete idiots, and we can appreciate a traditional classical concert. It’s your role to find out what those classical concerts are, give them to us in ways that we can consume them happily, and play the hell out of them. We’re here, and we’re procreating. Give us a reason to keep you around.

Better Living Through...

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 17:07:00 -0500

The tough parenting times are tough, and being an American, I feel like the answer to everything is a product. Looking at some of my challenges, I bring you the list of Coulda/Shoulda Be’s.

1. Time Out Tiger - a strap that tethers to the wall and secures your child with a chest harness that’s decorated like a tiger. Safely keeps your child in the designated time-out spot, but the sweet tiger makes you feel better about strapping him to a wall.

2. Nail-B-Gone - a liquid that is applied to your child’s nails to disintegrate them to normal length. No more razor nails or screaming while you try to cut!

3. Keep’EmClean - a paste that is spread on a child’s face and hands before eating. Food clings to the paste, not your kid, so that you simply peel it off and you’re clean!

4. Potty Treat Dispenser - a unique product that dispenses treats based on what your child does in it (for lack of more graphic detail). Parents are able to program what treats go for what. When the child does his business, the treat instantly appears causing both joy for the child and positive reinforcement for “good potty” (as we say in my house).

5. PoopyChute - a pneumatic tube built into your house that takes the dirty diaper from your hand to the trash outside. No diaper pail needed.

6. GuiltBGone - a pill that Mommy takes every night that cleanses away any decisions that she’s made that she’s not fond of. Comes in short-term (a cookie for dinner, too much TV) and long-term (being a working mom, not starting potty training sooner) varieties.

7. Juice-esque - milk that looks like juice! Forget arguing about which one goes with dinner. Your child drinks his daily allowance of milk while thinking he’s getting the sweet nectar of apple juice. Nothing like trickery!

8. SleepyTime Tablets - safely sedate your child for flights with these chewable tablets. No more Stride Rites to the face while on a plane.

9. AutoCapture Camera/Audio/Video Recorder - no more searching for the film when sweet moments arrive. Strap this contraption on your back, and it automatically detects the cute/sweet/funny/need-to-have memories for your archive. It even understands when to shoot one pic and when to shoot video. It also understands when you need to be reminded that sweet moments happen (the one-hour fight over washing hands), and projects a photo in front of your face at just the right instant to stop you from throwing your child against a wall.

10. Reassure-ator - Mommy’s friend via email or Facebook that reminds her that everything’s going to be fine. Expressions such as “this too will pass” and “this is totally normal” are examples of responses. Sometimes the Reassure-ator takes the form of your friend Rebecca, your sister, your mother/stepmother, or the girl you knew in grad school who you really should have spent more time with because you’re so freaking alike. Other times, it’s just an anonymous email from Another Mom.

Can someone get on these please? Momma’s hurtin’ here! Feel free to leave any others in the comments. (Please - because this is fun!)

Define "Business Model"

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 11:27:43 -0500

By now, I’m sure that most of you have read this article in the New Yorker about the publishing industry. If you haven’t, I highly suggest that you do (and know that it will take awhile).

First off, the funniest thing to me was this line - “there is a running joke that the second book published on the Gutenberg press was about the death of the publishing business.” Just sayin’.

The business in this is quite fascinating (especially if you work in music), but even if you don’t, there are strong lessons to be learned.

This struck me as so important to remember.

In Grandinetti’s view, book publishers—like executives in other media—are making the same mistake the railroad companies made more than a century ago: thinking they were in the train business rather than the transportation business.

I’m not in the CD business. I’m not even in the music business. I’m in the entertainment business. The entertainment happens to be recorded music as its primary product. Ensembles aren’t in the concert business. They are in the entertainment and culture business.

Yes, the labels are very broad, no question, and we can’t address every need that “entertainment” brings to us. But we can’t find ourselves stuck in how to push more pieces of this product into people’s hands. We need to focus on creating good entertainment, solid performances, and in general, something that people want. Then deliver it in a way that people want to consume it. Perhaps I want to listen to a CD in my car. Maybe I’m taking a walk and want it on my iPod. Maybe I’m in my media room, playing cars with the Little Man and I want it streamed through my TV.

The realities of business can’t be ignored, for certain. Publishers are built on a model of selling to bookstores. It’s how everything in their world is based. But, honestly, do you really want to be in a business where the general m.o. is “shove things out the door as hard as you can and hope that not much comes back”? I’ve never understood that myself.

All of us deal with this every day. Where our media comes from is changing so fast. But, one thing that we all know for sure, we love to consume it! And we really, really want to see good things being recorded/performed/written.

We vote with our dollars. So, if you love good stuff, go get it! Teach the publishers and labels and presenters what you want by buying it and showing them that focusing on quality and marketing will be a solid business model in years to come. Then, how can we really lose?

I remember far too much of this stuff - http://bit.ly/9SDfGI #childofthe80s

Thu, 22 Apr 2010 10:42:37 -0500

I remember far too much of this stuff - http://bit.ly/9SDfGI #childofthe80s

We All Gotta Choose

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 11:39:00 -0500

One of my friends was past due in her pregnancy, so they had to induce. She was very much looking forward to a natural childbirth and had a support system and birth plan all laid out. She posted her induction plans on Facebook, and one of her friends said, “Remember that the end result is still a beautiful child. And this will introduce you to the kind of flexibility you’re going to have to develop as a parent.”

This is very true. There are a million things that I needed to rationalize as I endeavored to keep my family in clean clothes, feed them well, keep the house picked up and basically keep them alive. I’ve become a series of contradictions. And here are some:

1. I wash our clothes in Seventh Generation detergent, but I add a scoop of OxyClean (the only thing that gets out toddler stains). That way when the OxyClean eats off a layer of skin, there’s less irritation, right?

2. I put Old El Paso powdered taco mix on 100% grass-fed beef.

3. I stir flax seeds into my full-cheese mac and cheese. This one I don’t know why.

4. The only juice in my house is fruit-vegetable blend, but when we go out, Little Man drinks half of my Sonic cherry-limeade.

5. The only dessert that we serve is fruit. But cheese is a legitimate meal-time protein, and ketchup is a legitimate meal-time vegetable.

6. It is a given that the playroom must be picked up before bath/bed each night. But my office looks like the holding cell for tornados. I trip on something on the way to my chair.

7. I purchase all-natural toothpaste and all-natural hand soap for the Little Man’s bathroom, but every night he washes his hands in the kitchen sink using Palmolive.

8. When we moved to pull-ups, I chose Seventh Generation for the impact it will have on my environment. But I have a stash of generic Target brand on hand because I’m freaking cheap, and if he’s going to destroy a pull-up before bed, it’s going to be a crappy one.

9. When I first moved to Dallas, I was torn between the Camry and the Corolla due to gas mileage. The difference was 8 miles/gallon. Today, I’m counting down the days that I can get a Honda Pilot because of that damn third-row seat.

10. Since birth, I swore that I would never bribe my child with candy/treats. If he’s going to do something, he’s going to learn to do it because that’s what you do. But I am one more month away from making a candy trail from the playroom to the potty to get the Little Man to use it.

I’m not calling this hypocritical. I’m choosing to say, “you do what you gotta”.

You're Not Gonna Reach My Telephone

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:15:42 -0500

Poor Jay from the Dallas Symphony. He called my house soliciting for a subscription purchase. He had no idea what he was in for. I grilled this poor man for twenty minutes on his job and what he learned from calling people. (Props to Amanda Ameer for giving me the idea to grill him from her earlier blog post)

Please to enjoy:

J: Denise? This is Jay from the DSO returning your call. How was Cali?

D: I called the DSO? And how did you know I was away?

J: No - I called and your husband said you were travelling. I’m seeing if you received the brochure I sent. I’ll be your guide through the season.

D: Stop Jay! For real?! If I have a question on what the Dallas Symphony is playing, I can call you?!

J: Well, no. I’m really here for talking you through the brochure to see what kind of program fits what you’re looking for. But, if you really want to talk to me about the season, I’m happy to give you my number (points for Jay!).

D: OH I see. So you walk me through what’s here and tell me what to buy? How does that work?

J: There are a bunch of packages, and I’ll help you find which one works for you.

D: So, Jay, how many people are you guiding this season?

J: About 100.

D: And how many of those do you get to purchase a subscription?

J: I’d say 30-40 (Go Jay!)

D: And from your experience, how do I rate as likely to convert?

J: You’re pretty low. You’ve never bought a ticket, only been to one show, and you’ve never given to the annual fund. (For real? I’d give to the annual fund just ‘cause?)

D: Oh - I see. And when you talk to people what do they say is the biggest issue for not subscribing?

J: I’d say it’s time and then money. And education on what they can afford - we have very affordable packages (points again, Jay, for going back to the pitch).

D: So people say that it’s time that they don’t want to commit to?

J: Yes, and sometimes artistic. But it’s really time and money.

D: Well, Jay, I thank you so much for talking with me. And so you know, I’m very unlikely to convert because I work in classical music, and I’m cheap. If I go to a show, it’s probably because I got tickets through work.

J: And I’d say, if you get tickets to the top tier, I can offer you better seats. If you’re sitting on the floor, I really can’t help you.

D: Yeah, I’m a lucky girl. But you have been a great guide for me, and I wish you all the best. You’re a good sales person.

I seriously pounced on this guy - partly because my day was sucking and I needed a distraction, and partly because I was so interested in how they were going to get me to buy.

What did I learn:

- it is time that makes people unlikely to commit. So there you go!

- it is money that makes people unlikely to commit, but they have people who will “guide” you according to your budget.

- Jay has never attended a DSO show.

I should have asked Jay to hook me up with tickets for Bugs Bunny on Broadway at the DSO. Those bunny tickets are expensive, but I do have the time to go.

Um, also known as The Village People - The Early Years? - Toddler Career Costumes at Lakeshore Learning

Thu, 01 Apr 2010 11:19:07 -0500

Um, also known as The Village People - The Early Years? - Toddler Career Costumes at Lakeshore Learning

The Train Has Left the Station

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 17:24:04 -0500

Let’s face it. When you become a parent, all things elimination are no longer taboo. So with that, I bring you Adventures in Potty Training.

Here are the latest techniques, and how they have actually come to fruition in our house.

1 - Have your child make a favorite stuffed animal use the potty.

This has resulted in LM taking Elmo to the bathroom, sitting him down on the toilet, and waiting while I read books to him. I’m reading to Elmo on the potty. Are you getting this?!

2 - Have your child make a favorite stuffed animal use the potty.

I bring this up twice because the unintentional happened. LM is now the one who puts Elmo on the potty and then sits on the side of the bathtub to watch him do his thing. So, I’ve effectively taught my child how to teach someone how to potty train.

3 - Discuss potty training around your child so that it’s not so scary.

This one now means that LM asks to ride the “potty train”. It leaves the station only after meals.

4 - Invite your child to come with you to the potty.

I have a very polite little boy, which is wonderful. It does mean that when I invite him to join me in the bathroom, I get, “No thank you, Mommy.” You just can’t really argue with that.

5 - Wait until your child is emotionally ready for this milestone.

Yeah, not really what I’m doing here. Three is the age that most kids are trained, and the competitive side of me will not let me be the last one there.

There’s a strategy called “potty bootcamp” where you let the kid wander around the house in the buff and do his thing when nature calls. I’m just afraid of what I’m going to do with a naked Elmo.

Of Two Minds

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 16:57:49 -0500

I’m arguing with myself. I recently went to see Caroline Goulding (thanks Rebecca) at the Dallas Symphony. I found myself on two sides of a very big fence. One - major metropolitan cities do not need symphony orchestras just ‘cause. Two - major metropolitan cities do need symphony orchestras just ‘cause.

Because I can’t decide - I’m writing two parts.

Part One - If You Don’t Have Something Nice to Say, Don’t Say Anything At All

Prior to the show, I looked at the program. I honestly was going to see Ms. Goulding. I didn’t give a crap what else they were playing. But because I was going, I really should know what is being played. Turns out it was Bach’s Orchestral Suite No. 3, Music for the Royal Fireworks, and Caroline was playing Mozart’s Violin Concerto No. 4.

Really? My crazy normal symphony is tackling music that is obviously better played by less-modern instruments or in small ensemble. There’s no way that this orchestra has anything to say about these pieces. The interpretation will be in no way groundbreaking. The hall is too large for these pieces. I can find better recordings of this all over the place. Why would I give up my evening to hear a substandard performance of really nice works?

So what should they play? Well, they are an orchestra located in Dallas with a very strong Latin population. Is there something that they could find in that vein? And it’s a very large hall with some super-cool acoustics. Maybe we look there for some oddball pieces? And we have some really strong music schools here. Perhaps some local or student composers?

If you are a major metropolitan symphony orchestra, don’t you have a duty to make your mark? Los Angeles may not be the best symphony, but they at least have something to say. The orchestra has a personality, a vision. Even New York. I’m not a huge fan of the playing all the time, but the playing is damn good. That’s kind of what they do. Even Baltimore. Marin Alsop has given a voice to that ensemble, even if it’s not always in their general programming. She’s really integrating it into the community.

If you don’t have anything to say, should you really be here at all? Why do you have this fancy hall that takes up downtown real estate? Because we’re a major US city, and we’re supposed to have this? I’m not sure that’s really a reason.

Part Two - Your Local Symphony At Work

Now let’s get to the night of the show. That’s where my attitude changes substantially.

Caroline Goulding is 17 years old. She’s this tiny little creature with a bouncy, blonde bob who is embarking on a major solo career. Because of that, the hall was filled with violin students. There were tons of parents who took their ten-year-olds to the show. And because of that, they made a cool night of it. Mommy was dressed up. Suzie had her last-year’s Easter dress on and a bow in her hair. They probably had a nice dinner and spent the car ride discussing music. What was Caroline going to sound like?* What would she wear? How much does she practice? Think I can get into Juilliard?

If we didn’t have an orchestra, that would never happen. The kids wouldn’t have the opportunity to see a live orchestral performance. They would practice their violin and listen to recordings and that’s it. They’d miss the thrill of the show. They’d probably be a little scared to enter a hall when they were old enough to make the decision themselves. So here was an opportunity for them to get a really great experience right in their hometown.

And the performance itself…well, I was right. Dallas has nothing to say about these pieces. But guess what? Really great works played just OK are still good. Who knew? I didn’t learn anything new about this, but I hadn’t heard this for awhile. No one’s life is being changed by this, but it was a nice concert. Maybe “nice” is about all I can ask for. Dallas is never going to attract the best players, but our players are quite good. And maybe that’s enough. Maybe just being here and providing this experience to our community is better than living without any orchestra.

Epilogue - My Fence

I don’t know where I stand. It’s hard for me to fork over the cash to see my orchestra when there’s nothing that they are giving me that’s unique, new or interesting. But, then again, if this didn’t exist, where would I take my son to experience this kind of music at all? If classical music lovers are always snobs, and this isn’t good enough, then aren’t we doing a disservice to our kids/neighbors by not attending at all? If our money doesn’t help the symphony stick around, then we have nothing.

Is just OK and available better than stellar and a plane ride away?

*I hesitate a bit bringing Ms. Goulding into my argument with myself. The answer to the question is that she played beautifully. It was the perfect piece for a young player to play. She had a sparkling tone and beautiful technique. She performed it a little like chamber music, with some really nice interaction with the orchestra. I really, really look forward to watching her career.

You know...for kids!

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:18:23 -0600

Saw this today. So, museum attendance is up, but revenue is down.

Want to know why this doesn’t surprise me? Because I have a child.

My local museum has a late night event once a month. It’s incredibly attractive to me because it means a family night out and one less day that week that I have to watch Pixar’s Cars reenacted on my living room floor.

When we go to the museum, it’s a good-sized admission. $10 for adults. Know how much they charge for my munchkin? Nothing. Nada. And he’ll be free until he’s TWELVE!

So guess what we do when we go to the museum? Think we walk through the permanent collection and discuss impressionism? Maybe leave handprints on the giant mirror sculpture (OK, we do that, but still, that’s five minutes)? Nope, we head straight to the children’s area where they have arts and crafts, a playroom for the under-three set, kiddie yoga (for real), and a bedtime storyteller. During all of this, Arturo, the slightly-offensive Latino bird mascot wanders around handing out stickers.

And the solution to pay for all of this is to let the little guys in for free?

Let’s face it. Cultural organizations have it rough right now. They certainly don’t want to look like they are gouging families by charging for their kids. But seriously, these are your core constituents. You don’t want to take advantage of that?

Want a solution? Why not look at the family as a unit? Package two adult tickets, parking and up to three kids for a “discounted” rate? Throw in a concession coupon, and you’ve already made more than you’d ever dreamed. What family goes to the concession stand and doesn’t come out $20 in the hole?

Let me tell you, we want reasons to come to your cultural organization. We are all looking for ways to enrich the lives of our offspring and get them the hell out of the house. We don’t want to spend a ton of money, but we’ll happily spend money on what we think is worth it. So go ahead and charge me for my little guy. If it means that we’ll be printing our hands on the mirror sculpture for years to come, we’re all in.

Streaming Hoosiers

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 10:29:41 -0600

Background: After undergrad, I convinced Indiana University that they should accept me into their performance masters program. I started graduate school there in flute performance and was soon miserable.

I also took a job in the ticket office at their performing arts center. This is the building where they stage their full-scale operas and their huge ballet productions (did I mention this was a college? It’s amazing). After spending a year watching performing arts administration/management/ticketing/production, I knew that I had much more to give that world than the concert stage. I moved on to do a masters in arts administration. It is a decision that I have never regretted, and I credit IU with having the first-class facilities and performances to lead me to that end.

This morning I saw a note about Indiana’s on-demand streaming of their operas and ballets. You can see it here. I absolutely love this for a number of reasons:

1) Working in the classical music realm, it makes me angry when professional ensembles make a ton of content free. Where’s your value when you can get everything free? Didn’t your mama tell you about buying the cow and getting the milk for free thing? I appreciate those organizations that see a real worth beyond “promotional value” and limit what I can see gratis.

That being said, this is not a professional organization. These are students. These are AMAZING students, but they are students. Making the performances free isn’t going to cut into their ticketing revenue or lower the demand for their performances. Ain’t no one going to Bloomington just to hear someone sing, I don’t care who’s singing!

2) What perfect experience for today’s performing arts students! So you’re telling them that not only do they have to sing well, not only do they have to act well, not only do they have to engage the physical audience, but they have to engage a viewing audience. That’s got to be a difficult skill to learn, but it’s one that they will need to have when they get off the stage at the MAC and onto the Met Opera stage. Because these people will.

3) You can view these around the world, right? What’s stopping an artist manager in Europe or an opera company in California or a ballet company in Japan from watching this and recruiting? No, this isn’t college football, but it can be. I don’t book, but wouldn’t you rather cast based on their performance in on a full-scale production with costumes, a full orchestra, sets and a live audience? Seems that it would give you a much better glimpse at who’s a well-rounded performer.

4) It’s difficult to get people into a concert hall. But if they know someone in the production (a la Marin Alsop’s Rusty Musician program), they are more likely to attend, or, in this case, tune in. These are students who have toiled their short lives to get this far. Their family and friends are so excited to see them - and now they can. Once they see an opera production or the ballet, maybe they will enjoy it enough to take a chance on a show where they don’t know someone. In their hometown. Where there’s a ticket to be purchased. Just maybe, but still.

5) OK, and then let’s get to the coolest thing for me, opera ADD girl. I can fast-forward. I love opera, I do, trust me I do. I think that opera is a theatrical art that needs to be experienced on the stage to really enjoy it. That doesn’t mean that I always enjoy sitting four hours somewhere to see it. I like that I can move through the show and watch just the arias.

I’m awfully proud of my alma mater (MA 2000). They just successfully married a first-rate educational experience with global entertainment with a fantastic development/sponsorship tool. They just gained another viewer in me, and - it might happen, kids - they may finally get that money for the alumni fund they keep calling about.

I'm Not Saying Anything, I'm Just Marketing

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 02:56:00 -0600

Facebook ads gave me this zinger as a served ad yesterday.

“Old Spice is not saying this body wash will make your man smell into a romantic millionaire jet fighter pilot, but we are insinuating it.”

Brilliant! The ad was accompanied by a picture of a buff man getting out of the shower. And for that, we thank you.

Imagine how crazy I could get with this! Legal implications be damned.

For parents: We’re not saying classical music will make your baby smarter, but we are insinuating it.

For singles: We’re not saying that you’ll meet your mate at the next Mahler concert, but we’re insinuating it.

For busy professionals: We’re not saying that you’ll be relaxed after this three-hour event, but we’re insinuating it.

For indie rock lovers: We’re not saying that Thom Yorke got his inspiration from what we’re playing, but we’re insinuating it.

For sports enthusiasts: We’re not saying that there are cheerleaders at our concert, but we’re insinuating it.

For foodies: We’re not saying that there’s a good restaurant in here that will be worth your while, but we’re insinuating it.

For some organizations: We’re not saying that we’re one of the best ensembles in the country, but we’re insinuating it.

I need more! If I could ever figure out if I can take comments, I’d say post them here. But because I’m slow that way, just send them to this long address: info@imnotsayinganythingimjustsaying.com. I’m not saying that I’ll write back with pithy replies, but I’m insinuating it.

Want your emails/posts/etc. read? Perhaps try this - http://www.shadyurl.com #madeyoulook

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:56:29 -0600

Want your emails/posts/etc. read? Perhaps try this - http://www.shadyurl.com #madeyoulook